Blog 15: Back to the start line?

As one challenge finishes, the next one begins. 

The biggest eye opener in all this “challenge” is quite how easy it is to do nothing or procrastinate…but we know more than many that we can no longer put off for that ever elusive tomorrow as in our world, tomorrow occasionally comes.

As of Wednesday last week I was officially allowed to play tennis…well, that was the question I asked….which would no doubt include being able to do any other form of exercise too?  Did I rush out to do any…..no, I waited for tennis on Sunday.   I just couldn’t quite make that move from walk to jog; it really is shocking how lazy you can become so quickly…..will power, that is the secret ingredient.  And this is where my friends have very kindly stepped in to help.  Some of you have been moving so fast you have forgotten to tell me what you’ve been doing ?!!  However, I have been sent two amazing stories and it is only right to keep them exactly as they are (see below). 

As for me, I played tennis today which I adored….I told the coach I was a liability and if I dropped down on the court just call 999 and he accepted me into the group!  I will endeavour to jog from time to time but will definitely restart my yoga course.  Parkfit, yes please, the camaraderie is second to none and it is good not only for body but for mind and soul and that to me is the meaning of life.  Please all keep moving and just do it to the best of your ability, no more, no less….it’s not a competition but it does involve that element of pushing yourself and bringing that will power to the front to get up and do it but I know each and every one of you has that fight, just look at what you have come through to get to where you are today.  Never give up.

From Paddyman: 

I received my move more pack about last September and from the many options I chose walking, something I enjoyed before my movement was restricted following three knee replacements (just think of the Isle of Man).  A visit to my doctor was not encouraging and his suggestion to stroll along the canal and feed the ducks horrified me. Is this all that was left for me to the end of my days? My oncologist was much more helpful and suggested that I should start with what I felt I could do comfortably and each week increase it by 10%, with occasional weeks on a more relaxed schedule.

I was already fairly active, I played bowls, always used the stairs (well nearly always) and living at the top of a steep hill I often had to walk up the hill to get home.  I started with walks “around the block of about 1.5 miles - down the hill along the main road and back up the hill the other side. The first time I did this I had to stop for breath several times on the steeper parts, but what a sense of achievement when I collapsed into the chair at home.  I set myself certain goals which were walks I used to enjoy, trying to make each one more challenging and now I am “comfortable” with walks of 6 to 8 miles.

These walks have given me great pleasure and combined with photography this has given me a good incentive to continue them and I won’t mention the pubs all these walks end in. My initial target was to walk 15 miles by May and obviously I haven’t achieved that, but I am enjoying life more and my stamina has improved. That’s a good result! I am also putting my renewed pleasure to good use and I shall do “Miles for Macmillan”, the 5.5 mile Severn Bridge Walk on 1st July. I’ve raised more than £600 in sponsorship so far. Wish me luck!

From Little My:

I never thought I would be writing a blog post about exercise! Apart from swimming for fun, I never did do any exercise before, but with impending osteoporosis from treatment and exercise reducing your risk of cancer returning, I had no option but to go the gym.

I was suffering with fatigue after treatment and I discovered that exercise really did help me through it. I would never have believed it, but a swim could keep me going for a couple of days. It gave me energy. First time I swam, I managed less than a length and I burst into tears at how rubbish I was and how rubbish I now looked in my costume... but I got back on my horse as it were and went again. And again. That was in November. It is now June and after having nearly 3 months off for an operation, I am back swimming and at the gym and have signed up for the 5km Race for Life in July. It has been slow going and I have had to bite the bullet of not caring what I think anyone else might think as I plod along at a slow walk on the treadmill at level 1 but it has improved dramatically already.

This week is my first full week at work since treatment. I am so tired like you would not believe, but today, I got to leave work a little early and went to the gym. I walked on the treadmill for 20 minutes, then did some weight exercises on the equipment for my bones and then 10 minutes on the cross trainer. 6 months ago, I could do 10 mins slow walk and 2 mins on the cross trainer and that was me on my knees out of breath. I then went for a swim as a reward. I mostly floated due to being worn out after all that, but I felt so good and relaxed and energetic.  I walked nearly 2 km today which is a new record and the goal of having to do the 5km next month is one to work towards as I know I will feel so proud when I do it, even if it is a slow walk round with a stop if needed.

I guess what I would want to say to people is that when I first saw the move more campaign, I felt so awful about it as I could not walk to the end of my driveway at that point and the thought of gyms and swims and running was just way out of my league and I thought don't make me feel bad about not being able to do things. I also thought that having cancer would stop me from being fit and able to run or anything like that. Clare and Julia made me see that it was possible to have cancer and do exercise, even really vigorous exercise and that really inspired me to go for it, so thank you Clare and Julia!

So, here I am exercising to stop my cancer coming back, to stop the fatigue and to stop my bones from crumbling and best of all, I feel good and have more energy.  Dare to start small even if just standing up and sitting down again, or wiggling your toes and keep going and from someone who could not walk down the stairs this time last year, there is hope, it just takes time and patience and I shall be running (walking) the Race for Life (and beyond!) for all of you.

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A HUGE thank you to Paddyman and Little My for their stories and masses of luck for the challenges they  have set themselves.  Thank you to my move more buddy Julia and also to each and every one of you that has kept me going through my 12 weeks of moving more.  Even when I physically couldn’t keep moving, you still kept me going in spirit.  If I can do it anyone can………so now it’s your turn xxxxx

Posted 17^th June

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Blog 14: The final hurdle

Photo taken close to Borough Market, London – a poignant message?

So this week.....REALLY tough....I have had to take it easy!  And I have!  So much so that I had managed to persuade the doctor last week to begrudgingly let me keep yoga in my repertoire but come Tuesday, I began to get a bit nervous.....I would be putting myself into a position that will actively encourage all the blood to rush down to my heart / lungs etc....why on earth would I do that knowing what I knew?!

It is strange.  Cancer stopped me absolutely dead in my tracks on diagnosis....emotionally....for two weeks.  I was in a bubble.   And then I broke out of the bubble and would not let it smother me and make me be something or someone different from who I was.....I am still here and alive so I will live my life to the full. I am also “lucky” in that I have no side current effects that I know about and can happily continue “as normal”.    Deep vein thrombosis....I chucked it to one side really...it’s fine, I can live with cancer so pah, do my injections, create a Picasso in the process (red, purple and blue swirls on my stomach are joining together nicely)......WRONG.  I suddenly felt vulnerable, probably for the first time on my “journey”.  So I have taken it easy.

That said, walks are non-negotiable.  I have done some lovely walks with my dog Bubbles.  Five minutes or two hours, Bubbles never says a word but just continues to wag her tail.  Walks are great, however, when I started my move more, I realised how unfit I was when I introduced some cardio work!  BUT that is being said from someone who has always walked.  For someone who does no to very little walking, get out there and do it, it’s wonderful.  And I have had the time to hear the birds singing and hear the Thames gently lapping against the shore (or wall, depending on how high the tide)!  I could feel every single drop of rain ricocheting off my head and it’s a lovely feeling...seriously...when you know you are going to get wet and there is nothing you can do about it....then think about how it makes you feel.....free, and at one with nature.

So, I babble!  I have lost my focus and goal, however, I am counting the days until I can resume some of the activities I undertook as part of my blog.  Yoga starts again in a month and I am signing up to re-take the first 2 lessons again also.  Tennis, now that really is my passion and to date, I am so relieved I haven’t missed any club matches....that would have upset me, that in my mind would have made me angry at cancer getting in the way of what I want to do.  Now it is still just a hurdle I need to get over (or under or round the side, I’m not proud!).  Jogging / wagging, actually, I will probably do some of this too, it is a great way of getting the dog that bit further in the mornings.  I know I will never win a race but I never set out to do that, just complete it.

So my friends, I am SO grateful for all your support over these last 11 weeks and it’s not over yet, one week left....and it’s over to you....I have some amazing volunteers to write a paragraph on what they are doing this week and how it makes them feel.  I just hope I will do everyone justice by putting their stories together.

Please all keep moving....it is good for heart and soul and remember, if you just take small steps slowly, you will always make it to the finish line. Aesop, I hope you are listening?!

Posted 10^th June

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Blog 13: Sailing the Cancer Seas

Jubilee flags blowing in the wind

I have been sailing…..a beautiful wooden boat on calm seas with favourable winds, glorious sunshine…..then WHAM, the wind is taken right out of my sails.  I hit a rock.  I realise the waters I have been sailing are the cancer ones. 

So, Monday was a day off exercise, Tuesday and Wednesday mornings were the regular jogs with yoga session number 2 on Tuesday evening.  Of course I hadn’t practiced my breathing or my sitting crossed legged but both seemed a bit easier this week.   The lesson was the sun salutation and on completion of round one, the skies opened onto the sky-light…..I thought this was a sun salutation, not a rain dance! 

Thursday morning I did a gentle walk before heading off to my appointment at the Royal Marsden, the right hospital, in Sutton, not Fulham….which I only just realised before jumping on the bus to Fulham…..mad dash back home and to my car……definitely raised my heart rate!  Luckily I always leave early for my appointments as it’s one less panic thinking I’m going to be late.

Six hours later, I walk very slowly to my car….careful up the hill, mustn’t dislodge that blood clot…….  Deep vein thrombosis….only a partial blockage!!  Well, I did manage to persuade the doctor to let me keep yoga in my repertoire, and of course I need to walk my dog, but not uphill or too fast but no bat of an eyelid at 3 miles plus so weekends will be fine.  And yes, these were my first thoughts once out from the stifling air in the hospital that just pushes your shoulders down…into the fresh air, ah, oxygen….I still have my blog to complete! 

Friday was sports day at school but I was sensible and didn’t go and enter into any races and I really did walk much slower than usual.  It’s amazing how knowing that any minute I could drop down dead from a thrombosis that you almost feel “ill” – but I’m not and I certainly didn’t accept the offer of being signed off work….I had the choice of anything from 1 month to 3??  So life continues as normal….but just less strenuous exercise, well, for a few weeks anyway.   Maybe my stomach will finally get a look in and I will have to do a few sit ups….but then again, I am now quite grateful for my “spare tyre” for my daily injections of anti-coagulants!

Keep moving everyone and remember, it’s not what you do it’s just the doing.  As for me, I need to mend the hole in my boat, raise the sails again……..blow wind, blow.

Posted 2^nd June

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Blog 12: Keep breathing

Stone Mushrooms in my garden

I have homework:  BREATHING!  You guessed it, I went to yoga!  I arrived and was directed through a wonderful courtyard to some rooms at the back.  "Just head up the stairs" so up I go (looking the novice that I am) and I see men and women of all ages lying there in all sorts of complicated position....just relaxing before the class starts?!  I find my inner self.....HELP it's screaming at me, RUN, RUN!  Lukily those are the words / actions that come out....."is this the beginners class?"....So I find myself in the right classroom and now let the yoga commence!

"Ohhhhmmmmmmmmm"....breath......"mmmmmm".  The second attempt at holding the Ohm for long enough comes out sounding like some poor cat is being strangled.  And then just relax in your cross legged sitting position.....I would like to point out at this stage that I cannot, and come to think of it, never have been able to sit "comfortably" crossed legged.  Ouch....and here was I under the impression that yoga was low impact / gentle on your joints?  Next is the eye yoga...now that was near giggle disaster but luckily my "round the clock" ended up being anticlockwise to everyone's clockwise so I avoided catching a cross eyed glance at a fellow yogi across the room.

It was not any easy hour and a half.  All aches and stiff joints, totally exposed and you have to "tune in" to them - I'm used to just ignoring them!  The final relax then arrived....really lovely.....relaxing.....the instructors soothing voice gently drifting into your mind..."your toes.......are relaxed; your knees........are relaxed; your back......is relaxed; your liver, kidneys and spleen are relaxed......AAAAARRRGGHHH, quick, concentrate, where are they, can I feel them?  Are they relaxed...oh no, I forgot to breath.....breath....ok, fine....calm....just concentrate on the body parts I know the whereabouts of.  And then we are there....we have found our most relaxed and inner self which is called total happinnes.....STOP...no, not my inner self....it is NOT totally happy at the moment...the sunshine is clouded by various shades of dark grey....oh no, how do I get myself around this hurdle as yoga is all about the inner self....so a compromise.  i need to concentrate on what good this will be doing me and energising all the good vibes, making them strong enough to shoulder all the bad ones out of the way....move over, sunshine and happinness is coming through!

So again, I survived.  A different kind of surviving from the other activities I have so far survived!  And I did actually feel more awake and "energised" when I got home rather than my groggy "I was up at 5am" feeling....it could also be that it wasn't another cold grey evening weather wise?  And now i must practise:  The shoulder stand (fine), the plough (not fine, my feet don't reach the floor backwards over the top of my head); fish (not fine, I am lying on my arms so they are aching from my weight on them and then you have to lift your chest off the floor and use the top of your head to support you).  Breathing....I can manage that one!

Meanwhile, more jogging which is a bit easier in the warm mornings - only trouble is all the other "dabblers" then come out too.....and you then have to look as if you are having a wonderful morning just gently jogging along the River Thames.......again I find my inner self......I can't repeat what it says!

Saturday was Parkfit and it was tough in the heat, 21 degrees at 9am…..I’m not complaining though……it was great fun, lots of shuttle run and ups and downs….they were the hardest in the heat…..I couldn’t jump up that fast or I just would have fallen over again!  The same goes for Cardio Tennis, really tough in the heat but I loved it….and the heat must have had some effect as I did not open my mouth after suggesting a game afterwards?!!!  I was a bit frustrated with how I was hitting the balls this week so best to just leave it for the day and start again tomorrow (theoretically speaking for whenever tomorrow comes)?!    

So, another 2 weeks to go for me and week 12....is YOUR week.  You will be writing the final blog with pictures too…not sure of logistics yet but just giving you the heads up!!  I will still be moving more but I want to hear what you are up to, even if it's walking up the stairs when you didn't need to just the once, or for the more energetic, cycling, walking, training for a Race for Life or warming up for the Olympics....whatever it is, happy moving more!  Oh, nearly forgot, also keep breathing !!

Posted 27^th May

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Blog 11: The Old & New

Old and New in Richmond Park:  The Tree Pose
I only have myself to blame, no-one made me volunteer to Move More for Macmillan!  And I volunteered for no other reason initially than to get fit, selfishly, for me.  And then you get the amazing encouraging support and the highlight has to be when you hear others ordering their move more packs and actually moving more.

So this is more than just me and my journey which is why I think last week was really tough as not sure if anyone out there is still reading the weekly blog (except for Sparkler through another thread, thank you).  As I said in my last blog after my fall, it's like cancer (or riding a bike?!), you just need to somehow pick yourself up and carry on.

The Old:  Last week was pretty much the same as previous weeks - the continuous battle of the jog.  I am still "doing it" but that is about it...and then the weekends which I really enjoy.  Parkfit was a lot of weights and then cardio fit tennis on Sunday.  However, it is not quite that simple....I went and opened my mouth after cardio tennis!!!  This led me to playing a set with "Sunday club play". The lady opposite me asks me my name in a very authoritative manner and on answering "Clare"...."Yes, but Clare who"....eek, I can't be in trouble, I've only been a member for just over a month!  I tell her and the reply is "ah yes, I've heard about you".....oh no, that really doesn't bode well?!!  She had heard about me after my play last weekend and happened to be the Ladies Team Captain...no pressure then playing against her.  The worst part….my partner and I won!  I feel a payback being clocked against me!  She did, however, offer to be my partner in the Club ladies doubles so can't be all bad...can it?!

At this point, I must apologise to you all for not cycling yet...except for my attempt one evening last week but with a badly bruised palm / thumb, holding on and braking were a bit of an issue?!!  In addition, the weather has really not been conducive for an attempt at cycling into work...but attempt it I will…..one day!  On the flip side (the new), I have gone and signed myself up for an 8 week beginners course in yoga, starting on Tuesday and I am nervous.  Firstly because it is something new and putting myself out of my comfort zone but secondly, Tuesday's are my 5am start days.....and I am worried about snoring if I take the relaxation element a bit too seriously?!! 

Along with being nervous, there is also an element of excitement, partly due to my crazy idea and with the yoga centre I have signed up to, I can achieve it!  They teach from total novice all the way through to instructor....so my crazy idea is that, providing I enjoy it, I could become an instructor and teach cancer patients, or anyone affected by cancer in any way be it those on watch and wait, during treatment, post treatment, those left behind or to the wonderful support group who are our family and friends etc..  Teaching would also be transferrable so when we finally make our move to France to live (hoping within 2 years) then I can actually earn a bit of money straight away...well, providing I brush up on my vocabulary!  L'effect domino (the domino effect, ie., when you lose your balance and take half the class with you) - well, it sounds right in French to me?!

Keep moving everyone, if for no other reason than to keep warm!!

Posted 21^st May

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Blog 10: Pick yourself up after a fall

Table is set

I have obviously painted a wonderful picture that if it were a real object, would fetch millions at auction?!  However, it is really just a couple of stick men with the odd splash of colour – just to put things into perspective for you?!

My jogging each morning is really a faster way of getting the dog exercised than walking and I really don’t go far or fast but I DO get out there come rain or rain (with our recent weather) and that is the most important part of moving more…..the doing…..I promise it’s no more than that.  Sounds simple?!  Well, no, it takes a lot to do it and I am certainly stuck at a 20/25 minute level covering anything from 1.6 to 2.4 miles….nowhere near my goal of 3 miles (in any amount of time at the moment).  The current “this week’s” obstacle to me achieving that mission is the fact that I jog to myself saying the beat “Thames Path, Mud Bath, Thames Bath, Muuuud….(slip) Bath, T….Thammmes Bh….(slip and slide), Mud…..splutter (mud splashed up to face) etc.!

So don’t be fooled or put off by the amount I seem to be doing!

To add insult to this I didn’t make my Saturday Parkfit.  This was not an impromptu duck out -  I was still in London recovering from a dinner I hosted the night before so just had to work very hard at trying to get rid of a hangover….was it worth it?  YES!  This was meant to be a Dine for Macmillan night but sadly the invitations arrived far too late and having issued just a “save the date with more details to follow”, I actually felt a bit uncomfortable changing the boundaries the week before, especially where money is concerned.  I did however let my diners know that that was the original idea but I would just do it officially next time! 

Saturday wasn’t totally wasted however, as there was an Open Day at my tennis club so down I went and joined in.  It was the first proper game I had played in over 12 years and my secret is now out that my tennis is as wild as it is at cardio tennis!   It was doubles and you swapped partners / opponents after the first couple have got to 7 games so you got to play with lots of different people which was great fun.  I did try really hard too to keep the ball in play and even ran for balls that were just dribbled  over the net – so much so that I slid….like, really slid….and went down…..my back and head hit the ground but the ouch was my hand - looking at the bruising a day on, I must have smashed the palm of my hand (by the thumb) on the end of my racket on the ground….but I got up and kept playing.  It’s funny…..cancer or falling over…it’s all the same, you just have to pick yourself up and keep going?!  An ice pack and glass of wine afterwards certainly helped numb the pain of the effects of the fall, if only the cancer could be so easily blocked out.  Oh, and just in case you were wondering, for all that effort and acrobatics….I didn’t get the ball back over the net!!!  I did come runner up for the afternoon however which I was really chuffed about. 

Sunday morning was Cardio Tennis and actually, with a swollen, black, blue and purple hand, my shots were actually a lot better as I physically couldn’t hit is as hard as I possibly could every time!!  The afternoon was then spent doing another lovely walk with my husband and the dog and I can still smell the scent of the “mustard field” and just the green, green rolling hills all around us and BLUE sky…wow, what a difference a bit of sunshine makes.  And now I think I have definitely deserved my wine!

Have wonderful weeks all round and remember to keep moving.  And if the sun does what it’s meant to and comes back at the end of the week after a few days off, this could be the week I attempt a cycle to work! 

Blog 9: It DOESN'T get easier

The pose that lasted so long I didn’t have to do the press ups afterwards?!

Firstly and in case you don’t make it to the bottom of my blog, I would like to say that I am SO proud of everyone who has ordered their move more packs, signed up to challenges, or just moved that tiny bit further or faster whether it’s getting yourself up and out of pyjamas when you didn’t feel like it, walking to the doctors or shops, and getting there that bit faster than the last time, well done to you all.

Back to the blog.  As you would have seen from the last blog, I made it swimming!  It was fine but that was about it – you know that kind of fine that when it is given to you as an answer to something, you should duck pretty quickly before a barrage of….”well, in fact, not fine, where do I start?”……comes out?!  Yes, do duck now! 

The changing rooms were cold and cavernous and I noticed the walls all peeling back to brick.  The floors are shared by those coming in from outside and those coming in from the pool so a bit of a mud bath on the floor……and that you are expected to walk bare foot on it….oh brings back memories of verrucca’s at school!  The swim was OK, not too busy and managed half an hour by which stage I had only just warmed up in the cold water…..and then back to the showers and a quick change to get out of there.  The more I think about it now, the more I think I may take swimming off my list!  I could smell the chlorine on my skin a good day later (after 2 showers) and I made such a drastic change at the time of diagnosis to my diet and also all the products I use (ie, shampoos, face creams, toothpaste etc.), that surely goes against the grain to be taking a chlorine bath?  The damage it did to my hair when I was at school – I was at the time using Sun-In to dye my hair and the chlorine turned it green – well, it can’t be doing your insides good either?    Sorry to be the bringer of doom and gloom but this is just my take on it!  And my pool facilities are particularly poor compared to many others so don’t let me put anyone off.

Monday was my “day off” exercise which is lovely, except for my escalator run UP (note the word up!)!  50 which I thought was fairly respectable and same again for Tuesday on the escalators.  In the evening I just took myself and my dog, along with my parents’ two cocker spaniels to Richmond Park for a walk in the glorious sunshine….still very wet underfoot but it was a glorious half an hour and no run ins with any deer a la Benson?! 

Wednesday morning was really tough jogging and I actually didn’t get that far…..there was a distinct lack of motivation for the day ahead but that should be no excuse.  Thursday was fine as was Friday (an OK fine this time around), with the added bonus on Friday of getting a reply from a fellow jogger going in the opposite direction to my question of “does it ever get easier”….”no” was the reply.  It made my day!  Why?  Because everyone keeps saying it gets easier and surely you can’t go too far wrong with jogging but IT DOESN’T GET EASIER!  With that response, a slight spring in my step, proceeded to battle my way home!!

Saturday and yes, you’ve got it…Parkfit.  It comes round quickly doesn’t it?!

Loved it.  It was very cold first thing but a really good turn out and running was the “theme” for this week’s session.  With all my attempts of jogging alone and not failing but struggling I suppose, I didn’t blink an eyelid and I think the reason being is that I was not alone.  And I can now say that I know what a horse feels like when it has a carriage to pull…??!!  Using the rubber resistance bands and in teams of 2 you take it in turns to try and run as far as you can (uphill I must add) with your “buddy” pulling you back.  The “Boss”, Ali, said it would be so much easier to run after being “held back”, we’d feel as if we were flying…the only flying I nearly did (nearly!) was on the muddy patches in the rugby field whilst literally running from pillar to post – well, floodlight, rubber tyre, rubgy post…..and yes, got myself into trouble again…..got myself into a race for the last push….a dead heat but really just great for both of us to keep ourselves / each other going, thank you!! 

A few squats and press ups to finish off with and the harder option was with your feet on the tyre and then do your press ups….so of course I have to give it a go…..and thankfully didn’t get to have that panic of falling flat on my face on the ground as made to hold a pose for a picture….no time either to worry about the double chin as already had the red face, hair all over the place, trembling arms, sweaty brow, tummy hanging down….etc., etc., going on?!!!!

Sunday and another fun session of cardio tennis.  How there are no accidents when there are two of you one side of the net being fed a ball to hit from the base line and then run to the next the opposite side of the court (not net!!) and hit the volley…..it makes me laugh too which doesn’t help the concentration!  A brilliant workout and I got chatting to one of the ladies there who works specifically with cancer patients and the effects of mushrooms on “us”.  I am finding more out next week which is fascinating but also a bit scary as mushrooms and I have never really mixed, and that’s just the bog standard supermarket button ones, forget anything stronger in any shape or form?!!

Bank holiday Monday and a lovely 3.8 miles around the Shardloes Estate, nothing too strenuous needed today!   I can’t believe I am now half way through this 12 week blog and if I stopped blogging tomorrow, I can safely say that I would continue exercising….and I actually question if it would be easier without the pressure of having to make it semi-interesting?!  I will let you know in due course! 

Posted 7^th May

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Blog 8: Wet Hare

“Wet Hare”

Finally, a short blog!  This last week has been getting used to new commutes, new jobs and not really getting myself to that “next level” of moving even more with the goal of some weight coming off! 

Monday was a very welcome day off (apart from the escalator game) followed by 4 mornings of jogging, 2 of which were further that I had been before (not under race conditions!!).  As I said to someone, “I got all the way to Hammersmith Bridge and back” (with the odd stop here and there).  What I didn’t mention is where I started from?!!  I will own up though, that jog is just under the 3 mile / 5k mark so am actually going to stick with that distance for next few weeks but just try and improve my stamina / time.  As soon as I start thinking of going any further I can’t breath and my mind goes into overdrive and breakdown mode simultaneously!!    Did someone mention marathon last week???

So the escalator game – the game of “if I go as fast as I can, how many steps can I take to get to the top of the escalator?”   So far, the count has gone from 41 to 51 this week so still room for improvement there too…..however, this game is made a bit tougher due to the simple fact that this is not all about me,  I do in fact have to share the escalators with my fellow commuters (fc’s).   As for encouragement, I’m on my own on this one, my fc’s……wow do they give you some funny looks as you power pass them.  I didn’t think I was making any pained grunting noises or pulling  any gritted teeth expressions or had my tongue hanging out in concentration and sheer determination but maybe I’d better just double check that next week!! 

Saturday was Parkfit and it was boxing again….my heart sank remembering my first ever session (and first day of Moving More) as I nearly passed out the last time.  But it was OK.  It was wetter and colder than last time so maybe that helped.  Weather conditions stated, we all managed to get our corner under cover and all was great, until we had to do the boxing stomach crunches followed by a quick jump up to do some star jump squat type things at which stage my leggings decided to make an attempt at falling down….not totally but it is nigh on impossible to pull them back up with boxing gloves on….serious…you give it a go?!!!  It took me back to being a child and the birthday party favourite, the chocolate game.   You would throw the dice and if you got a 6 you had to scrabble to put a hat, gloves and scarf on, grab a knife and fork and try to cut a chunk of chocolate off the bar and eat it before the next person threw a 6……”6”…..quick, drop the chocolate, shed the hat, gloves, scarf, next person hat on over eyes, scarf too tight, gloves on wrong hands, can’t grip cutlery……”6”…..  You did on occasion get a decent sitting with the chocolate bar!  

You’ll be pleased to know everything remained covered during Parkfit on this occasion.

I did a lovely 5 ½ mile walk with the dog in the afternoon and now here I am on Sunday (afternoon).  Sitting in my pyjamas watching a cookery programme and surrounded by cookery books planning my Dine for Macmillan menu for 11^th May……well, it was too wet for cardio tennis and now I’ve immersed myself with thoughts of food, am struggling to make a plan for moving more today.  I take my hat off to all you swimmers out there as the thought of having to get changed in a cold tiled cavernous room followed by jumping into the water….and then having to change again after…..it just puts me off.  The actual swimming would be fine….hmmm, maybe I’d better not think and just go do….thinking is how we end up not doing anything.

Meanwhile, well done to everyone that is moving more, it’s not easy with the weather so gloomy but I do hope it gives you feel a real sense of achievement.  Stick with it…..I can’t say it gets easier but it does lift the spirits.

PS.  Just back from ½ hour swim….hence the “wet hare” picture J

Posted 29^th April

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Blog 7: The Escalator Game

Harrods does sports (a very chilled window display; if only that were true of my Move More journey!)

A very poor start to the week but it does improve so please stick with me on this one!  Monday was travelling back from France followed by Tuesday being a day of unpacking, washing, packing again and getting to London where my new base is during the week for my new job.  The speed at which I achieved the turn-around surely must count for something ?  And I did do a lovely walk in Richmond Park with mum in the afternoon with the dogs and had to lean into the winds and push ourselves hard to get forward momentum head on into the driving rain!

Wednesday:  This is it, new girl today so a bit nervous and also worried about my timings for a new routine.  Alarm goes off at 6am….SNOOZE….well, I can always lessen my run (note I haven’t got the mind frame of just running faster to cover the same distance yet!!).  However, I amazed myself, Bubbles and I wiggled through the streets, coming out onto the Thames Path and had a lovely jog but still no time to dawdle…..managed close to 3 miles and dodged the rain clouds…today is going to be a good day!

So I arrive at my new work (at a school) and unbeknown to me it was an “inset” day – nothing like being overdressed but amazingly, I had also put some socks on with no holes in them.  Why on earth should that matter I hear you say….well, after the initial staff meeting, it was everyone to the Assembly Hall for an hour’s dance lesson – the jive and the waltz.  It proved the fact that I have no co-ordination but at least I could take my heels off so I didn’t break my ankle too (breaking the shredder was enough for one day!!).

Thursday:  Up early again and the same jog, and again OK and again managed to dodge the rain clouds.  I even managed a lively leap onto the tube en route to work without having any body parts or clothes / bags the wrong side of the door to me?!  I am sure my commuting enthusiasm is just a passing phase! 

Friday:  A mind battlefield.  I just didn’t like jogging….but I still did it.  And then my commute to work.  I see a bit of a daily challenge unfolding in front of me…the escalator….!  Now I could just do it in two steps – one on, one off – however, I didn’t so now I can’t ever!  Well they say it only takes 24 hours to form a habit but a lifetime to break it?!   So, I have no idea how many steps I can do the escalator in as obviously the faster I go the more steps I do but is there a limit?!  46 is the current count (following a 30 and a 42) so I will need to keep putting this one to the test?!!  Oh and I am talking going UP the escalator, I am not counting the down…although still good, that would be cheating?!

Saturday:  A return to Parkfit which is great – it really gets me motivated which I need.  I arrived a bit early to walk Bubbles first and whilst waiting for everyone to arrive I got thinking…never a good thing!  I have found it tough the last few weeks but I think it’s partly a bit of boredom as it’s all getting too much of a routine but also, whilst I am achieving “moving more”, I am not achieving my second goal of losing weight.  If I wasn’t wanting to lose weight then I’d be giving myself a pat on the back right now, however I need to now take this to the next level, not only for me but also for you.  It is actually a lot tougher than I thought writing a blog for all to see and to hopefully motivate you into being more active – if I get bored then the blog gets boring and then it fizzles out all round.  So now I’m scared again….scared?   Nervous….no….apprehensive….yes…can I do it?  Can I get to the next level of pushing myself? 

No more time to think, everyone has arrived and an hour of full on sprinting, boxing, press-ups, rowing squats etc., etc..  And then my mouth gets going again….it really is a dangerous habit this talking malarkey…..I get chatting to a lovely lady who has been doing Parkfit for a while and it has been a real lifeline to her, getting her active and feeling generally great about herself.  She went from “couch to 5K” and is now aiming for a 10K in July and a half marathon next year…so I then hear myself saying (out loud) “Oh, that would be good, I might match your plan”…..and before I know it, she has my number and we are pal’ing up and going to get out there and do this…..WHY do I open my mouth?!!!  Seriously though, it will be great to have a buddy as I am proving that I am hopeless at exercising alone….it really is a mind game with me as physically, I am currently able to do it (although it does hurt sometimes)….so a pal means no giving up without good reason.

Sunday :  Cardio Tennis.  I love it and it definitely is a good workout.  I was a bit worried to begin with as only 3 of us so that would mean much faster running to get the ball the other end but then more arrived and we were 9 in total….phew.  Did I say phew? Wrong!  Not phew, it tough but it helps that I love the cardio tennis so I can handle it without too much fuss!

Off to London straight after tennis to support a friend doing the London Marathon and it certainly gets your blood racing and thoughts flowing…..should I do another one?!  Well, I vowed never again…..but isn’t the saying “never say never”?!  We’ll see, a year until the next one!  But I was so impressed by all the runners and supporters, an amazing atmosphere and so many charities represented, well done everyone.  Right, enough of me…I am revving up for a day off tomorrow – and then I’ll see what the week brings.  Keep moving everyone.  

Blog 6: Faire le jogging

Fishing on the River Dive, Moncontour, France

Tuesday:  I struggled a bit to begin with and my husband was running with me but he has so much more energy and just looks as if he can go so much faster which actually puts me off….so I sent him and the dog off and just plodded along on my own merry way……and the run that I thought was only 3k is actually 2.86 miles (work that one out if you can?!) and managed 32 minutes so I need to keep that as a goal and keep trying to improve so if I ever find myself at the start of a race line again, hopefully the sense of “an event” will see me beating my PB.

How do I know how far I have gone?  I have a thing on my phone that tracks it all for me, gives me a map of where I’ve been, how fast and how many calories burned.  The first time I used it I was amazed, I had gone 9.6 miles in 40 minutes and burnt 1689 calories…hmmm….I don’t suppose it counts if I forget to stop it and drive off with it still tracking my moves?!! 

Wednesday:  I set off first thinking this would be a good idea.  Firstly, Ludo always takes forever getting ready and I just get more and more fidgety waiting and secondly, so that I wouldn’t feel like I was holding him back – brilliant?  Not.  I kept looking behind me to see if he was catching me up and almost using it as an excuse to slow down but worse than that, it is a fairly rural part of France we are in so the paths are fairly untrodden, especially at 8.30am…..this means that the narrow paths through the woods were strewn with spider webs just waiting for me to run into them (and leave the path behind me clear for the next person!)…..I had one strand that I couldn’t not get off me so everything had a slight rainbow / sparkle to it which would have been fun had I not been so worried about the whereabouts of the spider whose home I’d just wrecked!  I made it home unscathed and alone – Ludo had overtaken me before I’d even got half way!

Thursday:  I was still unsure if the “Chasse” or the hunt was still happening and having nearly got myself and the dog shot last September, I now know full well not to go walking on Thursday’s and Sunday’s so until I found out from the locals if it was still the season, Davina it was.  She made it all the way over to France with me and then I go and have another issue with the DVD remote control but not just the batteries….no remote at all!  So a day off for me…but I had had good intentions!   Later on I find out the Chasse is over and fishing is here.

Friday was also a day off and Saturday was an OK jog, just the same loop as always and no spiders or other animals jumping out at me so fairly uneventful I am sorry to report.

Sunday and last day of holiday, we explored a bit further afield from our village and walked for almost 6 miles through the yellow rape fields that lead into tumbling down French villages with very little life about them except for the barks of the dogs and cockerels cockerelling and the occasional French word drifting past on the breeze – all in all a very relaxing week.

Next week I feel I have to make up for the week just gone but it will be a mixed bag again with travelling and then preparing for a new job and getting used to a totally new commute / routine with the dog as she can no longer come into the office with me….but I am sure I will manage to keep moving and will let you know how it’s going later in the week!

Posted 15^th April

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Blog 5: I did't finish last

Black Park 5k ParkRun, Saturday 7^th April, 2012

Time:  32.02 minutes

I can’t have been putting that much effort in as I still time to wave?!  Thank you to the photographer George Mardall who has let me use this picture (and well done to the lady next to me who completed a half marathon the week before in aid of charity and to the girl in front who had a stitch and to the other two ladies on completing their first ParkRun and for not being sick / legs giving way from that last bit of effort at the end?!!).  Back to that later, got to get through Friday first.

Friday:   ParkFit.  Easter Special.  Now I grew up believing that if something was “special” then it meant a treat or something nice.  WRONG!  It meant even more hard work at ParkFit and made worse by the appearance of an Easter Egg….how could it be worse I hear you cry?  Well, it was not a gorgeously enticing velvety chocolatey one….it was hard, cold, plastic and everytime it was put down on the ground in front of your team, stop what you are doing…and burpees (not burping!), which are meant to be a light footed jump down into a squat followed by an effortless leap into the air to a star jump.   I got myself into a sumo wrestler type squat followed by something that seemed to resemble one of those ghecko’s that live in the desert and on the wildlife documentaries you see them lifting their left front paw and back right at the same time to cool down followed by the alternate paws in a quick dance like succession.  I couldn’t even get that dance like bit right! 

Oh and then there’s the bit where you have to squat down whilst your partner swings their leg over your head and once you see the foot land on the floor, your turn to jump up and “leg over”.  I did tell my partner I would forgive him if he kicked me in the head as soon as I had regained consciousness  in the hope he would offer me the same grace….luckily we never put it to the test!

I wouldn’t say I found it easier than the first session but I do think I survived it better?!  I won’t get carried away and say that maybe I am actually getting a bit fitter, it’s probably a case of “must try harder”….andI thought when my school days were over I’d never hear those words again?!!

In the afternoon I went out for a leisurely walk with the dog but kept finding a new turn which was very exciting.  Some 6.46 miles later….home!

Saturday:  ParkRun.  My knees were trembling from nerves and legs like jelly as I walked to the start line – everyone had the right kit….looked like real pros, what on earth am I doing here….well, too late, I am here (pat on the back for that one) and hey, someone has to finish last…?!!  And I had Bubbles with me.  The main reason for bringing her was to ensure that if I did finish last then at least I wouldn’t be alone?!!  She was a complete star.

I can confirm that “races” are not very sociable events.  Why?  Well if you are me, and can’t run and talk at the same time without the chat bringing your brain back into engage mode, and therefore the truth of what you are actually doing kicks in, it is something like this:  I am running race, I have ages to go, do I hurt?  Can I breathe?  Do I need to stop?  But why do I need to stop, I don’t hurt, do I, can I breathe, I can when I don’t talk, am I breathing….am I there yet?  You get the idea, so silence is the most sensible option, however, I am obviously not sensible having entered into the race in the first place but also I really struggle to keep quiet for any length of time!  Apparently, one day when very young, I was so busy chatting away that when I fell off my chair I just continued chatting away from under the table?!

And I didn’t finish last.  In fact I got a bit carried away which is really stupid as this was the only run I could have taken easy as I had no personal best to beat, and now the pressure will be on for any future events to beat a fairly OK time!  That’s no excuse not to enter though.  I had never heard of ParkRun before but they take place all over the UK, they are run every Saturday by volunteers and are free to enter.  You get all ages, sizes, fitness levels (sprinters, runners, joggers, wagers, walkers!), with dogs, with prams…didn’t see a zimmer frame but I wouldn’t be surprised……if there is one near you, it really is a fun thing to do as a challenge to yourself…..tempted….?!   

Sunday:   A day off for travelling to France and wondering if exercise in France is any different than in the UK?! 

Monday:  Of course it’s no different, there just seem to be more flies to breath in whilst jogging?!  But there is still that feeling when you have got out there and achieved whatever it is that you set out to do….and that really is a lift to your confidence?  Self esteem?  Well, that seems to be different  every time depending on your mind frame but I think I am beginning to enjoy getting out there and doing things…..beginning being the key word here, it is still one step at a time.

I think the rest of the week will just hold jogging, table tennis and if the sun comes out, tennis……if I can make myself understood by the “keeper of the key” to let me onto the court?!  Vive la France!

Posted 9^th April

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Blog 4: Spotty Dogs

Avon Valley Footpath sign on Wednesday evening

A week on and I expected to see and feel a difference…hmmm patience was never my strong point.  I actually think I have put a few pounds on but that must be those rippling muscles that are now coming to the fore???  Oh, right, sorry….reality….

What a lovely day off Friday was and I relaxed into it so much that I broke my nothing but red wine “diet” and cracked open a bottle of fizz with a friend of mine in the evening, bliss and a great idea until Saturday morning came around.  At least I was away as ParkFit would have seen me off totally….so double lengths for me in the pool?  When it really came down to it, I couldn’t face it, I think I see swimming as a first thing in the morning activity. 

But I had to do something so out came the duster and Davina made it out of the DVD case and into the machine….now, I bought the machine recently and it’s one of those £10 DVD’s from the supermarket that on the actual machine you can only turn it on/off, play and eject….so I grabbed the controls and they wouldn’t work .  I could manually play the introduction but I couldn’t then highlight the workouts…oh dear, what a shame?!  But no, after I had listened to the intro 4 times, I actually went to the supermarket to buy some batteries for the remote control so that I could do the workout – it was OK, certainly built up a sweat, however, I was doing a totally different workout to Davina. 

The “spotty dogs” and “grapevines” are not things I thought were exercise moves. And as for moving your arms as well as doing something with your feet crossing over behind, in front, together, not together (yup, I’m lost again too), well, game over (and nearly fell over!).

Sunday:   Cardio tennis.  I really enjoyed this and the best part is that I am joining the tennis club and during cardio tennis, you are hitting balls on the run so some shots were a bit wild.  HOWEVER, my tennis without having to hit the ball on the run is pretty similar but so far, I have disguised this fact….hmmm, wonder how long I will be welcome as a new member?! 

Monday:  Mind over matter with my last 5am start as no more commute after this week, exhausted after work (just from a busy day, no other reason) and my “evening beach” no longer allows dogs on it…summer is here…?  Or was last week it?!  I get home, unpack my bags for the week and then manage to get changed into my wagging things (for those that have missed previous blogs, I do a mixture of walking and jogging so can only describe it as wagging!) and set off across the fields and was doing well….until I saw a friend of mine who I hadn’t seen for ages so walked with her…but I did get going again after which I think was a good effort.  Last week, doing what I have just described would have felt like failing but it didn’t feel like that this week.  Seeing all your comments on both my blog and Julia’s….you are all of course right and you need to listen to your body and only do what you can do.

Tuesday:  Problem….still knackered but put that down to having to get lots of “lists” sorted for leaving work, getting ready for a week or so in France, leaving my rented  house, etc., so will do the same jog as last night and in the nicest possible way, hope not to bump into anyone I know or just be strong and say…got to keep going?!!  Oh, just had to add that eaten biscuits galore today, no reason, just did because they were there.

Evening:  A break in the clouds, sunshine….close the door, start jogging, just get to that point of no return and wham….clouds really open, not just a little bit…fully.  On I go and in fact, found it easier in horrible weather as it took my mind off what I was actually doing.  However, trainers now look very well used and that they should belong to a seasoned jogger…..hmmm, maybe my wagging days are over and I need to try and take myself to the next level and jog?!  Friends – Phoebe…hmmm, maybe not?!

Last night was a fast long walk with the dog, followed by a quick hoover of the house, thorough clean of kitchen and bathroom, packing some bags and an even faster walk to the pub…well I needed wine by then!

Tonight will be driving, leaving Poole for the last time for a while but tomorrow, ParkFit has an Easter session so that will make up for my last few slightly more relaxed couple of days.   The weekend is then more driving and providing my computer is set up correctly then blogging from France next week….I am wondering how good Google translate is and if sitting relaxing in the garden translates as exercising loads…?!!  JOKING….my running things are out and ready to go as well as our tennis rackets and walking shoes.  A bientôt mes amis….and keep moving! xxx

Posted 5^th April

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Blog 3: 10 Heads, 38 Legs?

Blog 3:

I promise my blogs will get shorter but just whilst I discover all these activities I am afraid I feel the need to share!!  As for checking with doctors how little I can get away with, sadly (taken in the right context of course) I feel absolutely fine and no obvious symptoms so I have no excuses at all.  Was with the oncologist Thursday morning as more lumps appearing but is “to be expected” apparently, so back to carrying on “as normal”!  In October treatment did move from maybe never to within 3 years so things are happening in my body but none to stop me keeping going right now (or ever for that matter!!).

Monday night:  Jogging.  I survived.  Can I call it jogging?  Not really….what would be a jog/walk – jalking?  Wagging?   

Ouch?  Not really.  It was actually OK.  Well, it had morphed into a monster with 10 heads and 38 legs in my mind so it was never going to be that bad.  It was also the first time I had run with headphones on which definitely made it easier.  Not sure if that’s because I couldn’t hear myself think or I was just concentrating too hard on not singing out loud!  Now that would have been a treat for my fellow beach users.

How did it make me feel?  I actually felt quite proud of myself.  Not because of the activity itself, just the fact that I got out there and did it / achieved what I set out to do.  The Macmillan Move More diary does have a bit you are meant to fill in each day saying what activity you are going to do when and if something gets in your way you will………?  My first answer was:  Fall over it.  Not sure where I am going with this thought but there’s a point somewhere – I’ll leave that one to you.

Housework, gardening, ironing is just as strenuous if not more so that any jalk/wag, and god forbid the outcome if you blast up a bit of music whilst you work….Freddie Mercury and a hoover spring to mind?!!  It really is the doing rather than the what.

Talking of the doing, Tuesday’s wagging was OK and passed by fairly uneventfully, Wednesday was just a fast walk as I was VERY stiff and Thursday….now that was tough and I really struggled with it…but don’t know why….this is why I still do not like jogging….I am no good at keeping myself motivated when the going gets tough (well, ish!)…BUT I didn’t have my headphones so I think that didn’t help….I did have a big push at the end though after a talk to myself with an  “I can at least do it for everyone on Mac online”.  A bit disappointed with myself really.

A lesson is that I need to find other things that fit in with work and exercising the dog that is not just jogging.  Weekends are fine as I have the time….this weekend is swimming on Saturday and I have found a Cardio-Tennis group on Sunday’s so this is me on the road back into tennis which I am very excited about.  And when I start my new job I promise I’ll find yoga type activities or other things that might inspire some of you….I am not taking any suggestions..YET!!??!

I missed today…..Friday, a day off – if you can call it that, I still have the normal ½ hour walk in the morning, 20 mins at lunch and  1 hour after work with the dog.  May need to take a leaf out of Julia’s book and run up and down some stairs.  Week 1 down already…only 11 to go – not that I’m counting or anything.   Happy weekend’s to you all.

Posted 30^th March

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