Photo taken close to Borough Market, London – a poignant message?
So this week.....REALLY tough....I have had to take it easy! And I have! So much so that I had managed to persuade the doctor last week to begrudgingly let me keep yoga in my repertoire but come Tuesday, I began to get a bit nervous.....I would be putting myself into a position that will actively encourage all the blood to rush down to my heart / lungs etc....why on earth would I do that knowing what I knew?!
It is strange. Cancer stopped me absolutely dead in my tracks on diagnosis....emotionally....for two weeks. I was in a bubble. And then I broke out of the bubble and would not let it smother me and make me be something or someone different from who I was.....I am still here and alive so I will live my life to the full. I am also “lucky” in that I have no side current effects that I know about and can happily continue “as normal”. Deep vein thrombosis....I chucked it to one side really...it’s fine, I can live with cancer so pah, do my injections, create a Picasso in the process (red, purple and blue swirls on my stomach are joining together nicely)......WRONG. I suddenly felt vulnerable, probably for the first time on my “journey”. So I have taken it easy.
That said, walks are non-negotiable. I have done some lovely walks with my dog Bubbles. Five minutes or two hours, Bubbles never says a word but just continues to wag her tail. Walks are great, however, when I started my move more, I realised how unfit I was when I introduced some cardio work! BUT that is being said from someone who has always walked. For someone who does no to very little walking, get out there and do it, it’s wonderful. And I have had the time to hear the birds singing and hear the Thames gently lapping against the shore (or wall, depending on how high the tide)! I could feel every single drop of rain ricocheting off my head and it’s a lovely feeling...seriously...when you know you are going to get wet and there is nothing you can do about it....then think about how it makes you feel.....free, and at one with nature.
So, I babble! I have lost my focus and goal, however, I am counting the days until I can resume some of the activities I undertook as part of my blog. Yoga starts again in a month and I am signing up to re-take the first 2 lessons again also. Tennis, now that really is my passion and to date, I am so relieved I haven’t missed any club matches....that would have upset me, that in my mind would have made me angry at cancer getting in the way of what I want to do. Now it is still just a hurdle I need to get over (or under or round the side, I’m not proud!). Jogging / wagging, actually, I will probably do some of this too, it is a great way of getting the dog that bit further in the mornings. I know I will never win a race but I never set out to do that, just complete it.
So my friends, I am SO grateful for all your support over these last 11 weeks and it’s not over yet, one week left....and it’s over to you....I have some amazing volunteers to write a paragraph on what they are doing this week and how it makes them feel. I just hope I will do everyone justice by putting their stories together.
Please all keep moving....it is good for heart and soul and remember, if you just take small steps slowly, you will always make it to the finish line. Aesop, I hope you are listening?!
Posted 10th June
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