Sunday, June 17, 2012

Blog 15: Back to the start line?


As one challenge finishes, the next one begins. 

The biggest eye opener in all this “challenge” is quite how easy it is to do nothing or procrastinate…but we know more than many that we can no longer put off for that ever elusive tomorrow as in our world, tomorrow occasionally comes.

As of Wednesday last week I was officially allowed to play tennis…well, that was the question I asked….which would no doubt include being able to do any other form of exercise too?  Did I rush out to do any…..no, I waited for tennis on Sunday.   I just couldn’t quite make that move from walk to jog; it really is shocking how lazy you can become so quickly…..will power, that is the secret ingredient.  And this is where my friends have very kindly stepped in to help.  Some of you have been moving so fast you have forgotten to tell me what you’ve been doing ?!!  However, I have been sent two amazing stories and it is only right to keep them exactly as they are (see below). 

As for me, I played tennis today which I adored….I told the coach I was a liability and if I dropped down on the court just call 999 and he accepted me into the group!  I will endeavour to jog from time to time but will definitely restart my yoga course.  Parkfit, yes please, the camaraderie is second to none and it is good not only for body but for mind and soul and that to me is the meaning of life.  Please all keep moving and just do it to the best of your ability, no more, no less….it’s not a competition but it does involve that element of pushing yourself and bringing that will power to the front to get up and do it but I know each and every one of you has that fight, just look at what you have come through to get to where you are today.  Never give up.

From Paddyman: 
I received my move more pack about last September and from the many options I chose walking, something I enjoyed before my movement was restricted following three knee replacements (just think of the Isle of Man).  A visit to my doctor was not encouraging and his suggestion to stroll along the canal and feed the ducks horrified me. Is this all that was left for me to the end of my days? My oncologist was much more helpful and suggested that I should start with what I felt I could do comfortably and each week increase it by 10%, with occasional weeks on a more relaxed schedule.

I was already fairly active, I played bowls, always used the stairs (well nearly always) and living at the top of a steep hill I often had to walk up the hill to get home.  I started with walks “around the block of about 1.5 miles - down the hill along the main road and back up the hill the other side. The first time I did this I had to stop for breath several times on the steeper parts, but what a sense of achievement when I collapsed into the chair at home.  I set myself certain goals which were walks I used to enjoy, trying to make each one more challenging and now I am “comfortable” with walks of 6 to 8 miles.

These walks have given me great pleasure and combined with photography this has given me a good incentive to continue them and I won’t mention the pubs all these walks end in. My initial target was to walk 15 miles by May and obviously I haven’t achieved that, but I am enjoying life more and my stamina has improved. That’s a good result! I am also putting my renewed pleasure to good use and I shall do “Miles for Macmillan”, the 5.5 mile Severn Bridge Walk on 1st July. I’ve raised more than £600 in sponsorship so far. Wish me luck!

From Little My:
I never thought I would be writing a blog post about exercise! Apart from swimming for fun, I never did do any exercise before, but with impending osteoporosis from treatment and exercise reducing your risk of cancer returning, I had no option but to go the gym.

I was suffering with fatigue after treatment and I discovered that exercise really did help me through it. I would never have believed it, but a swim could keep me going for a couple of days. It gave me energy. First time I swam, I managed less than a length and I burst into tears at how rubbish I was and how rubbish I now looked in my costume... but I got back on my horse as it were and went again. And again. That was in November. It is now June and after having nearly 3 months off for an operation, I am back swimming and at the gym and have signed up for the 5km Race for Life in July. It has been slow going and I have had to bite the bullet of not caring what I think anyone else might think as I plod along at a slow walk on the treadmill at level 1 but it has improved dramatically already.

This week is my first full week at work since treatment. I am so tired like you would not believe, but today, I got to leave work a little early and went to the gym. I walked on the treadmill for 20 minutes, then did some weight exercises on the equipment for my bones and then 10 minutes on the cross trainer. 6 months ago, I could do 10 mins slow walk and 2 mins on the cross trainer and that was me on my knees out of breath. I then went for a swim as a reward. I mostly floated due to being worn out after all that, but I felt so good and relaxed and energetic.  I walked nearly 2 km today which is a new record and the goal of having to do the 5km next month is one to work towards as I know I will feel so proud when I do it, even if it is a slow walk round with a stop if needed.

I guess what I would want to say to people is that when I first saw the move more campaign, I felt so awful about it as I could not walk to the end of my driveway at that point and the thought of gyms and swims and running was just way out of my league and I thought don't make me feel bad about not being able to do things. I also thought that having cancer would stop me from being fit and able to run or anything like that. Clare and Julia made me see that it was possible to have cancer and do exercise, even really vigorous exercise and that really inspired me to go for it, so thank you Clare and Julia!

So, here I am exercising to stop my cancer coming back, to stop the fatigue and to stop my bones from crumbling and best of all, I feel good and have more energy.  Dare to start small even if just standing up and sitting down again, or wiggling your toes and keep going and from someone who could not walk down the stairs this time last year, there is hope, it just takes time and patience and I shall be running (walking) the Race for Life (and beyond!) for all of you.


A HUGE thank you to Paddyman and Little My for their stories and masses of luck for the challenges they  have set themselves.  Thank you to my move more buddy Julia and also to each and every one of you that has kept me going through my 12 weeks of moving more.  Even when I physically couldn’t keep moving, you still kept me going in spirit.  If I can do it anyone can………so now it’s your turn xxxxx

Posted 17th June

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Blog 14: The final hurdle

Photo taken close to Borough Market, London – a poignant message?

So this week.....REALLY tough....I have had to take it easy!  And I have!  So much so that I had managed to persuade the doctor last week to begrudgingly let me keep yoga in my repertoire but come Tuesday, I began to get a bit nervous.....I would be putting myself into a position that will actively encourage all the blood to rush down to my heart / lungs etc....why on earth would I do that knowing what I knew?!

It is strange.  Cancer stopped me absolutely dead in my tracks on diagnosis....emotionally....for two weeks.  I was in a bubble.   And then I broke out of the bubble and would not let it smother me and make me be something or someone different from who I was.....I am still here and alive so I will live my life to the full. I am also “lucky” in that I have no side current effects that I know about and can happily continue “as normal”.    Deep vein thrombosis....I chucked it to one side really...it’s fine, I can live with cancer so pah, do my injections, create a Picasso in the process (red, purple and blue swirls on my stomach are joining together nicely)......WRONG.  I suddenly felt vulnerable, probably for the first time on my “journey”.  So I have taken it easy.

That said, walks are non-negotiable.  I have done some lovely walks with my dog Bubbles.  Five minutes or two hours, Bubbles never says a word but just continues to wag her tail.  Walks are great, however, when I started my move more, I realised how unfit I was when I introduced some cardio work!  BUT that is being said from someone who has always walked.  For someone who does no to very little walking, get out there and do it, it’s wonderful.  And I have had the time to hear the birds singing and hear the Thames gently lapping against the shore (or wall, depending on how high the tide)!  I could feel every single drop of rain ricocheting off my head and it’s a lovely feeling...seriously...when you know you are going to get wet and there is nothing you can do about it....then think about how it makes you feel.....free, and at one with nature.

So, I babble!  I have lost my focus and goal, however, I am counting the days until I can resume some of the activities I undertook as part of my blog.  Yoga starts again in a month and I am signing up to re-take the first 2 lessons again also.  Tennis, now that really is my passion and to date, I am so relieved I haven’t missed any club matches....that would have upset me, that in my mind would have made me angry at cancer getting in the way of what I want to do.  Now it is still just a hurdle I need to get over (or under or round the side, I’m not proud!).  Jogging / wagging, actually, I will probably do some of this too, it is a great way of getting the dog that bit further in the mornings.  I know I will never win a race but I never set out to do that, just complete it.

So my friends, I am SO grateful for all your support over these last 11 weeks and it’s not over yet, one week left....and it’s over to you....I have some amazing volunteers to write a paragraph on what they are doing this week and how it makes them feel.  I just hope I will do everyone justice by putting their stories together.

Please all keep moving....it is good for heart and soul and remember, if you just take small steps slowly, you will always make it to the finish line. Aesop, I hope you are listening?!

Posted 10th June

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Blog 13: Sailing the Cancer Seas

Jubilee flags blowing in the wind

I have been sailing…..a beautiful wooden boat on calm seas with favourable winds, glorious sunshine…..then WHAM, the wind is taken right out of my sails.  I hit a rock.  I realise the waters I have been sailing are the cancer ones. 

So, Monday was a day off exercise, Tuesday and Wednesday mornings were the regular jogs with yoga session number 2 on Tuesday evening.  Of course I hadn’t practiced my breathing or my sitting crossed legged but both seemed a bit easier this week.   The lesson was the sun salutation and on completion of round one, the skies opened onto the sky-light…..I thought this was a sun salutation, not a rain dance! 

Thursday morning I did a gentle walk before heading off to my appointment at the Royal Marsden, the right hospital, in Sutton, not Fulham….which I only just realised before jumping on the bus to Fulham…..mad dash back home and to my car……definitely raised my heart rate!  Luckily I always leave early for my appointments as it’s one less panic thinking I’m going to be late.

Six hours later, I walk very slowly to my car….careful up the hill, mustn’t dislodge that blood clot…….  Deep vein thrombosis….only a partial blockage!!  Well, I did manage to persuade the doctor to let me keep yoga in my repertoire, and of course I need to walk my dog, but not uphill or too fast but no bat of an eyelid at 3 miles plus so weekends will be fine.  And yes, these were my first thoughts once out from the stifling air in the hospital that just pushes your shoulders down…into the fresh air, ah, oxygen….I still have my blog to complete! 

Friday was sports day at school but I was sensible and didn’t go and enter into any races and I really did walk much slower than usual.  It’s amazing how knowing that any minute I could drop down dead from a thrombosis that you almost feel “ill” – but I’m not and I certainly didn’t accept the offer of being signed off work….I had the choice of anything from 1 month to 3??  So life continues as normal….but just less strenuous exercise, well, for a few weeks anyway.   Maybe my stomach will finally get a look in and I will have to do a few sit ups….but then again, I am now quite grateful for my “spare tyre” for my daily injections of anti-coagulants!

Keep moving everyone and remember, it’s not what you do it’s just the doing.  As for me, I need to mend the hole in my boat, raise the sails again……..blow wind, blow.
Posted 2nd June