Blog 12: Keep breathing

Stone Mushrooms in my garden

I have homework:  BREATHING!  You guessed it, I went to yoga!  I arrived and was directed through a wonderful courtyard to some rooms at the back.  "Just head up the stairs" so up I go (looking the novice that I am) and I see men and women of all ages lying there in all sorts of complicated position....just relaxing before the class starts?!  I find my inner self.....HELP it's screaming at me, RUN, RUN!  Lukily those are the words / actions that come out....."is this the beginners class?"....So I find myself in the right classroom and now let the yoga commence!

"Ohhhhmmmmmmmmm"....breath......"mmmmmm".  The second attempt at holding the Ohm for long enough comes out sounding like some poor cat is being strangled.  And then just relax in your cross legged sitting position.....I would like to point out at this stage that I cannot, and come to think of it, never have been able to sit "comfortably" crossed legged.  Ouch....and here was I under the impression that yoga was low impact / gentle on your joints?  Next is the eye yoga...now that was near giggle disaster but luckily my "round the clock" ended up being anticlockwise to everyone's clockwise so I avoided catching a cross eyed glance at a fellow yogi across the room.

It was not any easy hour and a half.  All aches and stiff joints, totally exposed and you have to "tune in" to them - I'm used to just ignoring them!  The final relax then arrived....really lovely.....relaxing.....the instructors soothing voice gently drifting into your mind..."your toes.......are relaxed; your knees........are relaxed; your back......is relaxed; your liver, kidneys and spleen are relaxed......AAAAARRRGGHHH, quick, concentrate, where are they, can I feel them?  Are they relaxed...oh no, I forgot to breath.....breath....ok, fine....calm....just concentrate on the body parts I know the whereabouts of.  And then we are there....we have found our most relaxed and inner self which is called total happinnes.....STOP...no, not my inner self....it is NOT totally happy at the moment...the sunshine is clouded by various shades of dark grey....oh no, how do I get myself around this hurdle as yoga is all about the inner self....so a compromise.  i need to concentrate on what good this will be doing me and energising all the good vibes, making them strong enough to shoulder all the bad ones out of the way....move over, sunshine and happinness is coming through!

So again, I survived.  A different kind of surviving from the other activities I have so far survived!  And I did actually feel more awake and "energised" when I got home rather than my groggy "I was up at 5am" feeling....it could also be that it wasn't another cold grey evening weather wise?  And now i must practise:  The shoulder stand (fine), the plough (not fine, my feet don't reach the floor backwards over the top of my head); fish (not fine, I am lying on my arms so they are aching from my weight on them and then you have to lift your chest off the floor and use the top of your head to support you).  Breathing....I can manage that one!

Meanwhile, more jogging which is a bit easier in the warm mornings - only trouble is all the other "dabblers" then come out too.....and you then have to look as if you are having a wonderful morning just gently jogging along the River Thames.......again I find my inner self......I can't repeat what it says!

Saturday was Parkfit and it was tough in the heat, 21 degrees at 9am…..I’m not complaining though……it was great fun, lots of shuttle run and ups and downs….they were the hardest in the heat…..I couldn’t jump up that fast or I just would have fallen over again!  The same goes for Cardio Tennis, really tough in the heat but I loved it….and the heat must have had some effect as I did not open my mouth after suggesting a game afterwards?!!!  I was a bit frustrated with how I was hitting the balls this week so best to just leave it for the day and start again tomorrow (theoretically speaking for whenever tomorrow comes)?!    

So, another 2 weeks to go for me and week 12....is YOUR week.  You will be writing the final blog with pictures too…not sure of logistics yet but just giving you the heads up!!  I will still be moving more but I want to hear what you are up to, even if it's walking up the stairs when you didn't need to just the once, or for the more energetic, cycling, walking, training for a Race for Life or warming up for the Olympics....whatever it is, happy moving more!  Oh, nearly forgot, also keep breathing !!

Posted 27^th May

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Blog 11: The Old & New

Old and New in Richmond Park:  The Tree Pose
I only have myself to blame, no-one made me volunteer to Move More for Macmillan!  And I volunteered for no other reason initially than to get fit, selfishly, for me.  And then you get the amazing encouraging support and the highlight has to be when you hear others ordering their move more packs and actually moving more.

So this is more than just me and my journey which is why I think last week was really tough as not sure if anyone out there is still reading the weekly blog (except for Sparkler through another thread, thank you).  As I said in my last blog after my fall, it's like cancer (or riding a bike?!), you just need to somehow pick yourself up and carry on.

The Old:  Last week was pretty much the same as previous weeks - the continuous battle of the jog.  I am still "doing it" but that is about it...and then the weekends which I really enjoy.  Parkfit was a lot of weights and then cardio fit tennis on Sunday.  However, it is not quite that simple....I went and opened my mouth after cardio tennis!!!  This led me to playing a set with "Sunday club play". The lady opposite me asks me my name in a very authoritative manner and on answering "Clare"...."Yes, but Clare who"....eek, I can't be in trouble, I've only been a member for just over a month!  I tell her and the reply is "ah yes, I've heard about you".....oh no, that really doesn't bode well?!!  She had heard about me after my play last weekend and happened to be the Ladies Team Captain...no pressure then playing against her.  The worst part….my partner and I won!  I feel a payback being clocked against me!  She did, however, offer to be my partner in the Club ladies doubles so can't be all bad...can it?!

At this point, I must apologise to you all for not cycling yet...except for my attempt one evening last week but with a badly bruised palm / thumb, holding on and braking were a bit of an issue?!!  In addition, the weather has really not been conducive for an attempt at cycling into work...but attempt it I will…..one day!  On the flip side (the new), I have gone and signed myself up for an 8 week beginners course in yoga, starting on Tuesday and I am nervous.  Firstly because it is something new and putting myself out of my comfort zone but secondly, Tuesday's are my 5am start days.....and I am worried about snoring if I take the relaxation element a bit too seriously?!! 

Along with being nervous, there is also an element of excitement, partly due to my crazy idea and with the yoga centre I have signed up to, I can achieve it!  They teach from total novice all the way through to instructor....so my crazy idea is that, providing I enjoy it, I could become an instructor and teach cancer patients, or anyone affected by cancer in any way be it those on watch and wait, during treatment, post treatment, those left behind or to the wonderful support group who are our family and friends etc..  Teaching would also be transferrable so when we finally make our move to France to live (hoping within 2 years) then I can actually earn a bit of money straight away...well, providing I brush up on my vocabulary!  L'effect domino (the domino effect, ie., when you lose your balance and take half the class with you) - well, it sounds right in French to me?!

Keep moving everyone, if for no other reason than to keep warm!!

Posted 21^st May

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Blog 10: Pick yourself up after a fall

Table is set

I have obviously painted a wonderful picture that if it were a real object, would fetch millions at auction?!  However, it is really just a couple of stick men with the odd splash of colour – just to put things into perspective for you?!

My jogging each morning is really a faster way of getting the dog exercised than walking and I really don’t go far or fast but I DO get out there come rain or rain (with our recent weather) and that is the most important part of moving more…..the doing…..I promise it’s no more than that.  Sounds simple?!  Well, no, it takes a lot to do it and I am certainly stuck at a 20/25 minute level covering anything from 1.6 to 2.4 miles….nowhere near my goal of 3 miles (in any amount of time at the moment).  The current “this week’s” obstacle to me achieving that mission is the fact that I jog to myself saying the beat “Thames Path, Mud Bath, Thames Bath, Muuuud….(slip) Bath, T….Thammmes Bh….(slip and slide), Mud…..splutter (mud splashed up to face) etc.!

So don’t be fooled or put off by the amount I seem to be doing!

To add insult to this I didn’t make my Saturday Parkfit.  This was not an impromptu duck out -  I was still in London recovering from a dinner I hosted the night before so just had to work very hard at trying to get rid of a hangover….was it worth it?  YES!  This was meant to be a Dine for Macmillan night but sadly the invitations arrived far too late and having issued just a “save the date with more details to follow”, I actually felt a bit uncomfortable changing the boundaries the week before, especially where money is concerned.  I did however let my diners know that that was the original idea but I would just do it officially next time! 

Saturday wasn’t totally wasted however, as there was an Open Day at my tennis club so down I went and joined in.  It was the first proper game I had played in over 12 years and my secret is now out that my tennis is as wild as it is at cardio tennis!   It was doubles and you swapped partners / opponents after the first couple have got to 7 games so you got to play with lots of different people which was great fun.  I did try really hard too to keep the ball in play and even ran for balls that were just dribbled  over the net – so much so that I slid….like, really slid….and went down…..my back and head hit the ground but the ouch was my hand - looking at the bruising a day on, I must have smashed the palm of my hand (by the thumb) on the end of my racket on the ground….but I got up and kept playing.  It’s funny…..cancer or falling over…it’s all the same, you just have to pick yourself up and keep going?!  An ice pack and glass of wine afterwards certainly helped numb the pain of the effects of the fall, if only the cancer could be so easily blocked out.  Oh, and just in case you were wondering, for all that effort and acrobatics….I didn’t get the ball back over the net!!!  I did come runner up for the afternoon however which I was really chuffed about. 

Sunday morning was Cardio Tennis and actually, with a swollen, black, blue and purple hand, my shots were actually a lot better as I physically couldn’t hit is as hard as I possibly could every time!!  The afternoon was then spent doing another lovely walk with my husband and the dog and I can still smell the scent of the “mustard field” and just the green, green rolling hills all around us and BLUE sky…wow, what a difference a bit of sunshine makes.  And now I think I have definitely deserved my wine!

Have wonderful weeks all round and remember to keep moving.  And if the sun does what it’s meant to and comes back at the end of the week after a few days off, this could be the week I attempt a cycle to work! 

Blog 9: It DOESN'T get easier

The pose that lasted so long I didn’t have to do the press ups afterwards?!

Firstly and in case you don’t make it to the bottom of my blog, I would like to say that I am SO proud of everyone who has ordered their move more packs, signed up to challenges, or just moved that tiny bit further or faster whether it’s getting yourself up and out of pyjamas when you didn’t feel like it, walking to the doctors or shops, and getting there that bit faster than the last time, well done to you all.

Back to the blog.  As you would have seen from the last blog, I made it swimming!  It was fine but that was about it – you know that kind of fine that when it is given to you as an answer to something, you should duck pretty quickly before a barrage of….”well, in fact, not fine, where do I start?”……comes out?!  Yes, do duck now! 

The changing rooms were cold and cavernous and I noticed the walls all peeling back to brick.  The floors are shared by those coming in from outside and those coming in from the pool so a bit of a mud bath on the floor……and that you are expected to walk bare foot on it….oh brings back memories of verrucca’s at school!  The swim was OK, not too busy and managed half an hour by which stage I had only just warmed up in the cold water…..and then back to the showers and a quick change to get out of there.  The more I think about it now, the more I think I may take swimming off my list!  I could smell the chlorine on my skin a good day later (after 2 showers) and I made such a drastic change at the time of diagnosis to my diet and also all the products I use (ie, shampoos, face creams, toothpaste etc.), that surely goes against the grain to be taking a chlorine bath?  The damage it did to my hair when I was at school – I was at the time using Sun-In to dye my hair and the chlorine turned it green – well, it can’t be doing your insides good either?    Sorry to be the bringer of doom and gloom but this is just my take on it!  And my pool facilities are particularly poor compared to many others so don’t let me put anyone off.

Monday was my “day off” exercise which is lovely, except for my escalator run UP (note the word up!)!  50 which I thought was fairly respectable and same again for Tuesday on the escalators.  In the evening I just took myself and my dog, along with my parents’ two cocker spaniels to Richmond Park for a walk in the glorious sunshine….still very wet underfoot but it was a glorious half an hour and no run ins with any deer a la Benson?! 

Wednesday morning was really tough jogging and I actually didn’t get that far…..there was a distinct lack of motivation for the day ahead but that should be no excuse.  Thursday was fine as was Friday (an OK fine this time around), with the added bonus on Friday of getting a reply from a fellow jogger going in the opposite direction to my question of “does it ever get easier”….”no” was the reply.  It made my day!  Why?  Because everyone keeps saying it gets easier and surely you can’t go too far wrong with jogging but IT DOESN’T GET EASIER!  With that response, a slight spring in my step, proceeded to battle my way home!!

Saturday and yes, you’ve got it…Parkfit.  It comes round quickly doesn’t it?!

Loved it.  It was very cold first thing but a really good turn out and running was the “theme” for this week’s session.  With all my attempts of jogging alone and not failing but struggling I suppose, I didn’t blink an eyelid and I think the reason being is that I was not alone.  And I can now say that I know what a horse feels like when it has a carriage to pull…??!!  Using the rubber resistance bands and in teams of 2 you take it in turns to try and run as far as you can (uphill I must add) with your “buddy” pulling you back.  The “Boss”, Ali, said it would be so much easier to run after being “held back”, we’d feel as if we were flying…the only flying I nearly did (nearly!) was on the muddy patches in the rugby field whilst literally running from pillar to post – well, floodlight, rubber tyre, rubgy post…..and yes, got myself into trouble again…..got myself into a race for the last push….a dead heat but really just great for both of us to keep ourselves / each other going, thank you!! 

A few squats and press ups to finish off with and the harder option was with your feet on the tyre and then do your press ups….so of course I have to give it a go…..and thankfully didn’t get to have that panic of falling flat on my face on the ground as made to hold a pose for a picture….no time either to worry about the double chin as already had the red face, hair all over the place, trembling arms, sweaty brow, tummy hanging down….etc., etc., going on?!!!!

Sunday and another fun session of cardio tennis.  How there are no accidents when there are two of you one side of the net being fed a ball to hit from the base line and then run to the next the opposite side of the court (not net!!) and hit the volley…..it makes me laugh too which doesn’t help the concentration!  A brilliant workout and I got chatting to one of the ladies there who works specifically with cancer patients and the effects of mushrooms on “us”.  I am finding more out next week which is fascinating but also a bit scary as mushrooms and I have never really mixed, and that’s just the bog standard supermarket button ones, forget anything stronger in any shape or form?!!

Bank holiday Monday and a lovely 3.8 miles around the Shardloes Estate, nothing too strenuous needed today!   I can’t believe I am now half way through this 12 week blog and if I stopped blogging tomorrow, I can safely say that I would continue exercising….and I actually question if it would be easier without the pressure of having to make it semi-interesting?!  I will let you know in due course! 

Posted 7^th May

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